.............................. II

[BoroRedKen]

1 OF CARMENS FAVES

[BoroRedKen]

I am free
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free,
I'm following paths God made for me
I took his hand I heard him call
Then turned, and bid farewell to all

I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to sing, to play
Tasks left undone must stay that way
I found my peace... at close of play

And if my parting left a void
Then fill it with remembered joy
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss
Ah yes, these things I too will miss.

Be not burdened... deep with sorrow
I wish you sunshine of tomorrow
My life's been full I've savoured much
Good friends, good times
A loved one's touch

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief
Don't lengthen it now with grief
Lift up your hearts and share with me,
God wants me now... He set me free.

Anonymous

[BoroRedKen]

I get a bit inspired by that. If i can get through conducting Carmens service and read that out it must mean i have some inner strength somewhere i suppose.

[BoroRedKen]

Nosmo and Smoggers. Can you look back and smile at things from back then? Do the good memories chase the bad 1's away eventually?

Do you eventually stop questioning everything about that time?

Do peoples patience wear thin if you are all woe is me etc?

I will try it. I will ask for advice/comments.

[Nosmo-King]

Ken yes you can look back with fondness and good memories come to the fore - but not immediately in my case.

It is natural to question why life has dealt you such a bum hand, it really is.

True friends will not get tired of you unburdening you're soul- they will realise and appreciate it is therapeutic and a process you have to go through as part of the grieving process.

I'm not going to pretend it is not an easy road to navigate initially. But it does get slightly easier with the passage of time.

Keep talking about Carmen, she will remain precious to you - and quite rightly too.

Ken you will overcome the challenges such a loss deals you- take it a day at a time. Good luck pal.

I will finish by saying think long and hard about ditching parts of your life that formerly meant so much to you. At this time you need things to remain to offer a focus and sense of perspective.

[Smoggers51]

Ken ,Rest assured that life does get a bit easier,although it doesn't seem like it now but sometimes in the future you will look upon your time with Carmen and giggle and think about the good times. I have a lot of Moslem friends through my marriage and their approach to losing a loved one is to celebrate their life not mourn their passing.In short be glad Carmen was in your life . Although you never get over it you eventually learn to function in your life and approach each day. I'll be honest never a day goes by where I don't think of my wife but the memories become fond ones.
It's hard at the moment but you need to take time out ,shut down and as selfish and crazy as it sounds have some me time.Sorry it's a long post but one last thing don't make any major decisions at this time because if you are like I was your thoughts will be all over the place.
Remember this thought "GRIEF IS THE PRICE WE PAY FOR LOVE "
You had in your life something that some people never have and that was not only a partner but a lover and above else a friend.
Stay safe Ken.

[BoroRedKen]

Thank you Nosmo and Smoggers.

I will think about what you 2 wrote and use both of your strengths you have shown since the dark time in your life's to help me move forward and make mine more bearable at the moment.

Thank you fellas for sharing. It really does help.

x

[BoroRedKen]

I have got an indoor paint sprayer and some paint coming so im going to go through my house (still want to say ours) like Banksy on acid and change the decor!