Violence against women

[Hound]

Unfortunately I work in a company where the women can't do certain aspects of the job yet still get the same hourly rate as the men, the same men who have to pick up those extra tasks.

[BoroRedKen]

Interesting stat.

"The latest Office for National Statistics figures (2022/23) show that one in three victims of domestic abuse are male equating to 751,000 men (3.2%) and 1.38 million women (5.7%). From this, 483,000 men and 964,000 women are victims of partner abuse. (ONS 2022/23)."

[spottygiraffe (Moderator)]

Unfortunately I work in a company where the women can't do certain aspects of the job yet still get the same hourly rate as the men, the same men who have to pick up those extra tasks.

That's a misstep on your employers behalf, if someone's shit at the job, sack them. Women exist that would be perfectly capable of doing manual labour, might not be as many as men, but they definitely exist. I bet there's also lazy blokes who work there on the same hourly rate as the grafters? It's not about gender, it's about how capable you are. You shouldn't be hired based on gender, you should be hired on how capable you are.

I would never argue that it should be a 50/50 split of men and women in manual labour jobs, I would always argue that people who are capable of the job do the job.

My issue is in situations where women are MORE than capable of doing a job, yet aren't chosen over the men because of preconceptions about women, discrimination about maternity leave, being expected to be the default parent, the one who's career has to suffer because the woman should pick the kids up from school, make sure tea is on the table, leave work when school ring cos the little ones are poorly.

Etc etc etc I'm meant to be getting an early night !!!!!!

[spottygiraffe (Moderator)]

Interesting stat.

"The latest Office for National Statistics figures (2022/23) show that one in three victims of domestic abuse are male equating to 751,000 men (3.2%) and 1.38 million women (5.7%). From this, 483,000 men and 964,000 women are victims of partner abuse. (ONS 2022/23)."

Also from ONS:

Victims of partner abuse in the last year were asked to state the sex of the person or people who abused them. A higher proportion of male victims reported that the perpetrator(s) was female (44.2% compared with 15.6% male).

A higher proportion of female victims reported that the perpetrator was male (56.0% compared with 3.1% female). Caution should be taken interpreting these figures because of the relatively large proportion of "don't know" or "don't wish to answer" responses for these questions.

I do hate the gaps in data though, I want all the answers!

[BoroRedKen]

I posted it because i do believe that "macho" stops some males reporting DV.

I know some lethal females (1 is doing a 16 stretch for killing her partner and believe me she was the violent 1 and it was probably the only time i saw 1st hand what it did to him that i "understood" the female perspective of DV.).

My time as a Sam i listened to some truly horrific stories. It was really challenging just to get a distressed female to speak to a male volunteer.
3yrs later i can still remember some of them verbatim. And it horrifies me still.

[spottygiraffe (Moderator)]

I posted it because i do believe that "macho" stops some males reporting DV.

I know some lethal females (1 is doing a 16 stretch for killing her partner and believe me she was the violent 1 and it was probably the only time i saw 1st hand what it did to him that i "understood" the female perspective of DV.).

My time as a Sam i listened to some truly horrific stories. It was really challenging just to get a distressed female to speak to a male volunteer.
3yrs later i can still remember some of them verbatim. And it horrifies me still.

Yeah I think there's lots of barriers on both sides, men with their pride and fear of being dismissed, and women with probably similar feelings in terms of being dismissed, not having enough evidence etc.

I was in a physically abusive relationship from 19yrs-22yrs, on one occasion the police came to the property, my clothes were ripped and I had marks all over me but the female officer totally dismissed everything I was saying and said it was just a silly disagreement. Knew at that point it would never be worth reporting anything.

I cringe when I watch tv shows and movies where a woman will slap a bloke across the face, abuse to either side is gross and everyone should just keep their hands to themselves and learn how to control their emotions.

[fukyu]

You'll never get equality until women can piss on a campfire and put it out.

[BoroRedKen]

I posted it because i do believe that "macho" stops some males reporting DV.

I know some lethal females (1 is doing a 16 stretch for killing her partner and believe me she was the violent 1 and it was probably the only time i saw 1st hand what it did to him that i "understood" the female perspective of DV.).

My time as a Sam i listened to some truly horrific stories. It was really challenging just to get a distressed female to speak to a male volunteer.
3yrs later i can still remember some of them verbatim. And it horrifies me still.

Yeah I think there's lots of barriers on both sides, men with their pride and fear of being dismissed, and women with probably similar feelings in terms of being dismissed, not having enough evidence etc.

I was in a physically abusive relationship from 19yrs-22yrs, on one occasion the police came to the property, my clothes were ripped and I had marks all over me but the female officer totally dismissed everything I was saying and said it was just a silly disagreement. Knew at that point it would never be worth reporting anything.

I cringe when I watch tv shows and movies where a woman will slap a bloke across the face, abuse to either side is gross and everyone should just keep their hands to themselves and learn how to control their emotions.

My daughter went through the same with her ex (i must be honest and admit R was no angel either).

I have heard so many of their barneys down the phone to choke a donkey. Lost my rag loads of times (he was a game lil halfwit i will give him that) but the day the penny dropped for R was a great day as a dad.

[BoroRedKen]

Us "oldies" were dragged up by the most fearsome army on Earth.

Mothers who were born in the 40's and 50's.

I learnt at a very young age who was the real gaffer in the house!.

[BoroRedKen]

Hang on!!

I dont do sensible!

Errrrr errrrr......

How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One.

She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her............


 

[borope]

Hang on!!

I dont do sensible!

Errrrr errrrr......

How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One.

She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her............


 

Used to take 3 sparkies in ICI one to hold the ladder one to pass the bulb and one to screw it in. Then they'd tell you its a lamp ,bulbs grow in the ground. 

[TerryCochranesSocks]

Us "oldies" were dragged up by the most fearsome army on Earth.

Mothers who were born in the 40's and 50's.

I learnt at a very young age who was the real gaffer in the house!.

Or 30's

[rutters]

I think they're just overdoing the banter, there's no point arguing over anything on the internet, best off we all have a "coffee morning" in one of the local boozers 👍🏻👍🏻

Are you referring to me? Or the few of you making weird indirect posts clearly referring to me posting on here?

It's okay for you lot to argue about politics but I'm not allowed to bring up anything to do with feminism or you all get your knickers in a twist.

If it's an issue I can stop posting, I honestly don't mind. You lot have all been on here longer than me anyway.

What do you understand Feminism to be?

Are you asking because you're genuinely interested or to debate what feminism is supposed to mean, because I don't have the energy for the latter lol.

I'd struggle to sum it up in few words, but as best I can it's the movement to help reach equality among genders, socially, economically and politically.

My personal beliefs when it comes to feminism lean more towards women being equally as safe as men are (statistically we aren't), women having equal opportunities, women being treated fairly in the workplace and not being discriminated against simply for being a woman. Gender pay gap for example.

I could go on for days about it really.

So if your objective is equality, how can it be equitable to only address inequalities faced by women ie Feminism?

And women already enjoy equality of opportunity, fairness in the workplace, much greater protections and employment privileges. What causes any perceived inequality is motherhood (hence the mythical Gender Pay Gap).

The only way to address those perceptions (aside from transferring more money from men to women) is equal parental rights but I've yet to meet a Feminist in favour of those.

[rutters]

Interesting stat.

"The latest Office for National Statistics figures (2022/23) show that one in three victims of domestic abuse are male equating to 751,000 men (3.2%) and 1.38 million women (5.7%). From this, 483,000 men and 964,000 women are victims of partner abuse. (ONS 2022/23)."

Men don't disclose and haven't enjoyed decades of outreach, awareness-raising, support, belief, funding and refuge.
In reality, you are far more likely to be slapped by a woman than to punch a woman.

50% of relationships have reciprocal violence however in relationships without reciprocal violence, 70% is committed by women. Lesbian relationships are the MOST violent.

[rutters]

Unfortunately I work in a company where the women can't do certain aspects of the job yet still get the same hourly rate as the men, the same men who have to pick up those extra tasks.

That's a misstep on your employers behalf, if someone's shit at the job, sack them. Women exist that would be perfectly capable of doing manual labour, might not be as many as men, but they definitely exist. I bet there's also lazy blokes who work there on the same hourly rate as the grafters? It's not about gender, it's about how capable you are. You shouldn't be hired based on gender, you should be hired on how capable you are.

I would never argue that it should be a 50/50 split of men and women in manual labour jobs, I would always argue that people who are capable of the job do the job.

My issue is in situations where women are MORE than capable of doing a job, yet aren't chosen over the men because of preconceptions about women, discrimination about maternity leave, being expected to be the default parent, the one who's career has to suffer because the woman should pick the kids up from school, make sure tea is on the table, leave work when school ring cos the little ones are poorly.

Etc etc etc I'm meant to be getting an early night !!!!!!

Scrapping DEI employment rules and equal parental rights would solve those problems.

[rutters]

Interesting stat.

"The latest Office for National Statistics figures (2022/23) show that one in three victims of domestic abuse are male equating to 751,000 men (3.2%) and 1.38 million women (5.7%). From this, 483,000 men and 964,000 women are victims of partner abuse. (ONS 2022/23)."

Also from ONS:

Victims of partner abuse in the last year were asked to state the sex of the person or people who abused them. A higher proportion of male victims reported that the perpetrator(s) was female (44.2% compared with 15.6% male).

A higher proportion of female victims reported that the perpetrator was male (56.0% compared with 3.1% female). Caution should be taken interpreting these figures because of the relatively large proportion of "don't know" or "don't wish to answer" responses for these questions.

I do hate the gaps in data though, I want all the answers!

That's reported* Domestic Violence. Men don't disclose for obvious reasons.

[rutters]

I posted it because i do believe that "macho" stops some males reporting DV.

I know some lethal females (1 is doing a 16 stretch for killing her partner and believe me she was the violent 1 and it was probably the only time i saw 1st hand what it did to him that i "understood" the female perspective of DV.).

My time as a Sam i listened to some truly horrific stories. It was really challenging just to get a distressed female to speak to a male volunteer.
3yrs later i can still remember some of them verbatim. And it horrifies me still.

Yeah I think there's lots of barriers on both sides, men with their pride and fear of being dismissed, and women with probably similar feelings in terms of being dismissed, not having enough evidence etc.

I was in a physically abusive relationship from 19yrs-22yrs, on one occasion the police came to the property, my clothes were ripped and I had marks all over me but the female officer totally dismissed everything I was saying and said it was just a silly disagreement. Knew at that point it would never be worth reporting anything.

I cringe when I watch tv shows and movies where a woman will slap a bloke across the face, abuse to either side is gross and everyone should just keep their hands to themselves and learn how to control their emotions.

Men don't disclose for many reason:

1. There is no support/belief/funding/refuge so why bother?
2. You're going to lose your kids if you split up.
3. F on M violence is accepted and even glorified so why complain?
4. You're raised to protect women, not get them into trouble.
5. Don't hit a girl, just take it.
6. Embarrassment.
7. Violence against Men & Boys is recorded as Violence against Women & Girls anyway.
8. You're more likely to be arrested yourself.
9. You're asked 'What did you did to deserve it?'.
10. Specialist Police officers, officer training and Police Station DV medical suites for female accusers only.

Until male victims enjoy equal support we have absolutely no idea of the true extent.