A PERSONAL QUESTION.

[BoroRedKen]

To the lads that have lost a wife/partner.

Is it "normal" to still have sleepless nights? Is it normal to still feel like your heart is irreparable?
Is it "normal" to still feel so lonely?

In my life i have been left for dead twice.
Shot and stabbed up. But that is like getting a paper cut compared to the pain i still feel.

If its "normal" then that is great.
If not then i need to get help. This "old boy" is reaching the end of his rope.

I will never take the "easy" way out of all this pain. Suicide? Nah. Drink or drugs? Nah.
What im struggling with is anger and "revenge".

Is this "normal" lads?

6/7 years as a Samaritan i should be able to answer these questions myself but nothing seems to make much sense anymore.

[Mike Peeler]

Sorry to hear you are feeling a tad rough as such Ken, I've no real-life 'qualifications' that you speak about. So can't help you on that score, obviously don't do anything foolish. Are the not any groups mens clubs around your way? Etc

 I would get a settled sleep pattern regardless of how you feel.

Gadgets off at 10pm then bed for 11pm and do not switch them back on until 7/8am after waking at maybe 6am for breakfast and get yourself a little dog to get you out the house. It works wonders for me and I've got a 'Mrs'

[In With the Lurpak]

It's all normal Kenny unfortunately as brutal as it all is . You are not human if you don't go through all this below after losing someone you love . People will keep telling you time and time again things get better and you won't believe it but they really do Kenny .




Shock and denial. Whether a loss occurs suddenly or with some advanced notice, it's possible to experience shock. You feel emotionally numb and may deny the loss.
Pain and guilt. During this stage in grieving, the pain of the loss starts to set in. You may also feel guilty for needing more from family and friends during this emotional time.
Anger and bargaining. You may lash out at people you love or become angry with yourself. Or you might try to "strike a bargain" with a higher power, asking that the loss be taken away in exchange for something on your part.
Depression and loneliness. As you reflect on your loss, you may start to feel depressed or lonely. It is in this stage in grieving that you begin to truly realize the reality of your loss.
The upward turn. You begin to adjust to your new life, and the intensity of the pain you feel from the loss starts to reduce. At this point in the grieving process, you may notice that you feel calmer.
Reconstruction and working through. This stage in grieving involves taking action to move forward. You begin to reconstruct your new normal, working through any issues created by the loss.
Acceptance and hope. In this final stage of the grieving process, you begin to accept the loss and feel hope for what tomorrow might bring. It's not that all your other feelings are gone, just more so that you've accepted them and are ready to move on.


https://www.bing.com/ck/a?!&&p=7e52aa2c4761cfd8JmltdHM9MTY5NjU1MDQwMCZpZ3VpZD0wMmQyNmY5Zi03YzU1LTY0NTUtM2E5ZC03YzNjN2Q0YjY1OWMmaW5zaWQ9NTI2NQ&ptn=3&hsh=3&fclid=02d26f9f-7c55-6455-3a9d-7c3c7d4b659c&psq=5+stages+of+grief&u=a1aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudmVyeXdlbGxtaW5kLmNvbS9maXZlLXN0YWdlcy1vZi1ncmllZi00MTc1MzYx&ntb=1

[Eastcoastred]

Kenny,, What your going through at the moment is normal, Grief is a bastard mate it's worse than the initial shock of losing the woman you love, and it will stay with you forever But will get easier as time goes by, Remember the good times you both had together mate and above all stay positive. There is a lot of positives in the posts from the two lads above,, Rember there's always someone to chat with on here,, A personal example from me,   we lost my Mother in 2000 and my sister can't part with her ashes,, that's twenty three years she has had them now all down to grief,, Stick in there Pal and take slowly

[AtomicDog]

Get yourself out with Lids today, he'll put a smile on your bracket



Cheer up you've been through at lot, you'll get there Lad
AD
🐾

[Francks left peg]

To the lads that have lost a wife/partner.

Is it "normal" to still have sleepless nights? Is it normal to still feel like your heart is irreparable?
Is it "normal" to still feel so lonely?

In my life i have been left for dead twice.
Shot and stabbed up. But that is like getting a paper cut compared to the pain i still feel.

If its "normal" then that is great.
If not then i need to get help. This "old boy" is reaching the end of his rope.

I will never take the "easy" way out of all this pain. Suicide? Nah. Drink or drugs? Nah.
What im struggling with is anger and "revenge".

Is this "normal" lads?

6/7 years as a Samaritan i should be able to answer these questions myself but nothing seems to make much sense anymore.

Hope you are doing ok mate. Each day will get a tiny bit easier. Time is a great healer.

[teamboro]

My missus still greaves for her mother and father it's her dad's memorial on Monday she'll be like a bear with a sore head on Monday so I would say Ken it's normal

[Mike Peeler]

It's a long shot this Ken if you are about and I'm not name-dropping coz I don't know him personally but that Paul Vennis sort of helps folk/lads out. He might be worth getting in touch with and he does gym work if that's up your street as an ex-door lad. If not he might be able to point you else where.

He seems a decent lad who has had his past troubles. I watch some of his stuff now and again.

[AtomicDog]

It might also be worth mentioning if you are thinking of getting a 'Bull Terrier ' or an English one that those in the know would call them.

That local hardman/celebrity/pillar of society/Christian (delete as appropriate) has a fantastic knowledge on them. I always wondered how someone could tame these 'Viscious savages' that the media barp on about.

Silly Me

I'm actually thinking of taking our latest addition for a bit of training.

If there's anyone who can teach them 'wrong from right' he's the Man.

I wish I'd known him 50 year's ago, would've saved Me so much 'Ag'




But they say life is a learning curve, everyday is a school day

🐾

[ccole]

By the grace of god, not experienced your situation fella.

But it would be the type of thing I would expect.

Reach out mate, plenty on here would be happy to chat if it gets you down.

PM me if you ever need a chat and a pint/cuppa.

Lots of support on here 👍

[Nosmo-King]

Ken you will have ups and downs for quite a while. And it is understandable. You lost your best friend, confidant, soulmate, trusted advisor the woman you shared your life with - that creates a massive hole in anyones life.
And, understandably it means life is very challenging.

Try and keep the memories at the forefront of your mind - it can help - at least I found that.

It was 10 years ago on Thursday for me. My life has changed considerably and have found happiness.

Ken, when ready you could and will find happiness - Carmen would want this for you.

[AtomicDog]

That's why you should be here Nozzer, cos you speak good sense, to good people.

🐾 is up from the Dog

[Mike Peeler]

It might also be worth mentioning if you are thinking of getting a 'Bull Terrier ' or an English one that those in the know would call them.

That local hardman/celebrity/pillar of society/Christian (delete as appropriate) has a fantastic knowledge on them. I always wondered how someone could tame these 'Viscious savages' that the media barp on about.

Silly Me

I'm actually thinking of taking our latest addition for a bit of training.

If there's anyone who can teach them 'wrong from right' he's the Man.

I wish I'd known him 50 year's ago, would've saved Me so much 'Ag'




But they say life is a learning curve, everyday is a school day

🐾

I was trying to link him up with someone who might help him maybe join the local gym scene AD, I was not encouraging him to join the free-for-all all bare-knuckle fight scene.

If he is short of pals/company, then any help is better than no help.