Men dont talk.

[BoroRedKen]

But i do!.

Anybody ever had difficulties with "emotional feelings?".

This last few weeks im emotionally weak as a kitten.

I only have to listen to someone talking about loss and im a wreck inside (my god pet passings really do me over).

I kind of get maybe im still grieving and think i need more professional help still but its becoming "bad".

I have reduced my social media and TV time. What else can i do?.

The advantage we have on RR is we do have a big mix of people. Rightys, lefties, leavers, remainers, ok people and fannies, people who believe in talking and people who believe in "manning up".

Personally, as i hope i come across, im a talky type of bloke. I dont subscribe to macho bollocks. I dont see emotion as a weakness. But i dont shy away from standing up for myself and others also.

So any advice? Good or bad.
👍

[teamboro]

I finf CBT a waste of time never getting to the bottom of things the NHS just want to give you drugs I was on them for 14 years on repeat prescription when I was unemployed I went for walks daily surprising how it clears your mind for an HR or 2

[In With the Lurpak]

There's a massive hole been left in your life Ken. If Carmen was still here you would have breezed through this last few years with the court case stuff she would have been there by your side which is all you needed . no ones going to ever replace Carmen and what she gave you Kenny. Your emotions will be magnified after what's happened in your life it's human nature. If you do and I hope you do meet someone else one day these bad times with emotions will disappear. I know what you are saying above lots of us on here know Kenny.

[BoroRedKen]

Thanks Crocks and TB.

I get mocked and ridiculed but i would not want even my worst enemy (no need for names!) too have to wake up that 1st morning without the person you expected to be with forever and know it can never change.

The thing that keeps dragging me back to it all is to have to sit on 4 buses once a week to travel 30 miles to be told what a horrible cunt i am for using a bad word.

Wish i had a Bentley or a Merc truck to ferry me about now im a "criminal".......

[spottygiraffe (Moderator)]

I'm a huge advocate for talking about mental health and removing the stigma around it.

I've openly struggled with my mental health for a very long time, one of the best things I've ever done is private therapy. I've been in and out of NHS therapy since I was 15, never found the right therapist for me, went private and found an absolute fantastic therapist and my mental health has improved massively, it's expensive but one of those things where I prioritise it as much as eating, I haven't seen him for about a year and do need to book back in but just too busy recently.

What comes second to therapy, I would say is just keeping busy. If you can get out even just for a walk I personally find this mega helpful. I would recommend listening to a guided walking meditation video, sounds like shite but it's actually really nice. I try and busy myself with nice hobbies, I've been doing a lot of reading lately when I get chance, and have even been colouring in (as stupid as it sounds) as it doesn't take much brain power, and doesn't piss me off too much like everything else.

I think moving into winter doesn't help, the shit weather and dark mornings and nights are hard.

Good on you for admitting you're having a hard time though.

Remember healing isn't linear.

[Nosmo-King]

I had sessions after Margaret died- organised through the hospice.

Maybe my expectations were totally different to what the courses gave and offered.

Found them a waste of time to be fair. I stopped them. Made a concerted effort to dump the anti depressants and found I could cope better.

Not everyone is the same, Ken. The burning questions for me were why? How?

And on reflection there's a realisation these questions couldn't be answered.

Ken, try therapy you may find it helps you personally.

[erimus74]

I'm a huge advocate for talking about mental health and removing the stigma around it.

I've openly struggled with my mental health for a very long time, one of the best things I've ever done is private therapy. I've been in and out of NHS therapy since I was 15, never found the right therapist for me, went private and found an absolute fantastic therapist and my mental health has improved massively, it's expensive but one of those things where I prioritise it as much as eating, I haven't seen him for about a year and do need to book back in but just too busy recently.

What comes second to therapy, I would say is just keeping busy. If you can get out even just for a walk I personally find this mega helpful. I would recommend listening to a guided walking meditation video, sounds like shite but it's actually really nice. I try and busy myself with nice hobbies, I've been doing a lot of reading lately when I get chance, and have even been colouring in (as stupid as it sounds) as it doesn't take much brain power, and doesn't piss me off too much like everything else.

I think moving into winter doesn't help, the shit weather and dark mornings and nights are hard.

Good on you for admitting you're having a hard time though.

Remember healing isn't linear.

Sorry to hear that Spottygiraffe but reassuring that you can go to someone who helps you cope with MH

I dont really struggle to the point I need help, I've always enjoyed long walks, listening to music, which are a godsend & as SpottyGiraffe mentioned, I too have a few books always ready to read, presently reading the battle of Arnhem

Days if I do feel a bit low, or the weather turns, then my Boro related memorabilia & posting is a great way for me to lose any issues that could build up within me, im lucky that my loving family are always there for me but with not wanting them to see me feeling a bit down then the Boro's always my go to stress free myself, I just get lost in it all

[Redsteel (Moderator)]

Walking and fresh air Ken, you have a walkers paradise where you live mate. It won't take away all the pain or issues but it helps loads trust me. I'm out with my pooch every morning, most days over Seaton Carew over the sand dunes or castle eden in amongst the woodlands. Either way, I get a good dose of fresh air mixed with animal shit 
It's great for clearing the mind, and I feel so much better about any day ahead for it. Speak to JT, he may have some decent trails to put you on and advice, as he's a canny rambler.

[Ural Quntz (Moderator)]

Get a dog!

You've talked about it enough so get your finger out and get down Maxis Mates to see Bailey

https://maxismates.org.uk/we-need-homes

[Ural Quntz (Moderator)]

...or Luna

... or Buddy

 

[BoroRedKen]

I am taking the replies in and thank you all.

 

[ZiEgE]

Self inflicted adversity.

If you're emotionally weak you're probably physically weak.

Inflict adversity, work out. Get up early. Do cold plunges. Do hot saunas.

Do things you really don't want to do.

Also, get your Testosterone levels checked, it could be caused by oestrogen.

[erimus74]

Self inflicted adversity.

If you're emotionally weak you're probably physically weak.

Inflict adversity, work out. Get up early. Do cold plunges. Do hot saunas.

Do things you really don't want to do.

Also, get your Testosterone levels checked, it could be caused by oestrogen.

Mind I'll pass with the cold plunges ZiEgE, 😁

[Clem Fandango]

Mind I'll pass with the cold plunges ZiEgE, 😁

You don't have to do a full plunge. 

You could do what I do and just dip your scrot in a mug of ice cubes. 

I can't say it has improved my health much but it has stopped our lass nicking my favorite mug.

[BoroRedKen]

Mind I'll pass with the cold plunges ZiEgE, 😁

You don't have to do a full plunge. 

You could do what I do and just dip your scrot in a mug of ice cubes. 

I can't say it has improved my health much but it has stopped our lass nicking my favorite mug.

Ask Mrs Clem what she dipped in it just before its repatriation....

 

[Westlane_rightwinger]

Shit, shower, shave and fookin get on with life. It's what loved ones who have passed would have wanted for you.

[Westlane_rightwinger]

They say men at 60 in a hetro relationship , 60% state the wife is the best friend. For women at 60 only 30% state their fella is the best friend.

This not just because they are like cats or snakes wi tits. They have wider social circles to talk shite in. Fellas don't.

[Clem Fandango]

Mind I'll pass with the cold plunges ZiEgE, 😁

You don't have to do a full plunge. 

You could do what I do and just dip your scrot in a mug of ice cubes. 

I can't say it has improved my health much but it has stopped our lass nicking my favorite mug.

Ask Mrs Clem what she dipped in it just before its repatriation....

 

Come to think of it my coffee has been a bit more yeasty than usual.

 

[ZiEgE]

Mind I'll pass with the cold plunges ZiEgE, 😁

You don't have to do a full plunge. 

You could do what I do and just dip your scrot in a mug of ice cubes. 

I can't say it has improved my health much but it has stopped our lass nicking my favorite mug.