SOME PEOPLE

[Gingerpig]

Dog .....better by the day .....maxi kin priest   

Even a shitstorm loss wont beat

*Bob & Earl
Electric Avenue
Brixton
SW9 8JY*

All the brilliance OTR never has 

[AtomicDog]

Mr Pig
I just wanna be Close to You . . .
You do understand, don't you?



Feeling wanted

*Lloyd
'The Raggamuffin'
Bermondsey
SE1*

[AtomicDog]

Enjoy your night Boss . . .

Tell your untrustworthy
'Friends' the drinks are on the Dog when I see them.

In the meanwhile I'll play you a song.

Please ignore the homosexual connotation's as sadly,

'I'm not on the other bus'

And it is Davy Jones from Brixton, that drug addled lunatic. It's just music, makes people feel good.
And everybody likes to feel good eh?

Fix up, look sharp Lad.


Buy the biggest snitch a drink form Me, I'll divvy you up when I see you, yeah?

Enjoy Lad's . . .

UTFB!

AD
🐾
🐾

[AtomicDog]

From the Dog to the informers:

Wotcha Moonies

Be like Ole Ted Eh?,
Be nice.





*Got sum blindin Mandy in,
 PM for details . . . No stwap*

[AtomicDog]

When we were playing in Central park with our ball yesterday Simon stopped briefly and, Ahem . . . Started licking his testicles.
 Whilst he was doing it a Man jogging stopped and said to Me

"I wish I could do that"?

So I said
'If you're going to try . . . You best pat him on the head first mate'

Simon & Garfunkel
Queens
NYC

[AtomicDog]

I use to be a DJ at Stonehenge . . .

But I no longer mix in that circle La

DJ Macca
Fazakerley
Merseyside
L9

[AtomicDog]

An extremely handsome man walks into a bar.
He takes a seat at the bar and strikes up a conversation with a few of the girls. He's charming, and the girls adore him. He spends most of the night talking. After a while, however, Frankenstein enters. Frankenstein is rather ugly. Perhaps even hideous for obvious reasons.
The handsome man grimaces but says nothing offensive before returning to his conversation with the girls. An hour later, he returns to find Frankenstein surrounded by a group of girls. He is perplexed but continues to flirt with the girls and buy them drinks.

After an hour, Frankenstein leaves the bar with every single girl.

The bewildered Man turns to the bartender and says,
 " I don't understand! Here I am, handsome and humorous, but the women all leave with that ugly f***ker! How did he do it?"

The bartender replies,

 "I haven't the slightest. . . .  All he did was sit there and lick his eyebrows."


B Lugosi
Transylvania
Romania
E Europe
🦇🦇🦇

[Johnny Thunder]

 

[AtomicDog]

Influencers,
Stop filtering and airbrushing your photos on Instagram, trying to look like Angelina Jolie, where's in reality you look like a potato.

How are people going to recognize you if you go missing?



Spud
Bishop's Tachbrook
Warwickshire
West Midlands

[AtomicDog]

If you were out on a colleague's stag night in Portsmouth in fancy dress.

After a crazy night out whilst waiting for a taxi, eating a kebab, You were set upon by three drunken sailor's, dragged down a back alley . . .  then sodomized.

Would you tell anyone at work the next day?


*Asking for a friend*


Rupert
Waterlooville
Borough of Havant
Hampshire

[AtomicDog]

When I visited Australia, the immigration officer asked me if I had a criminal record...


Confused, I replied, "Oh, is that still required?"


George Davis
HM Prison Wormwood Scrubs
White City,
London
W12

[TerryCochranesSocks]

A fantastic gesture,, who ever you are well done,,

Here, here 👍

In the true spirit of pedantry I think it's only right that I should point out that it is "Hear, hear" not "here, here".
Shortened from the 17th century parliamentary exclamation of "Hear him, hear him", it was said by a supporter of a speech being made in lieu of applause. Applause is not (normally) allowed in the HoC so this became the way to 'applaud'.

[AtomicDog]

Mr Socks, I noticed that too Sir. But as Mr Erimus is a thoroughly decent chap, felt I needed to hold back on belittling his grammar

🐾
🐾

[erimus74]

A fantastic gesture,, who ever you are well done,,

Here, here 👍

In the true spirit of pedantry I think it's only right that I should point out that it is "Hear, hear" not "here, here".
Shortened from the 17th century parliamentary exclamation of "Hear him, hear him", it was said by a supporter of a speech being made in lieu of applause. Applause is not (normally) allowed in the HoC so this became the way to 'applaud'.

Thanks for that Terrycochranes-socks, everydays a school day 

[erimus74]

Mr Socks, I noticed that too Sir. But as Mr Erimus is a thoroughly decent chap, felt I needed to hold back on belittling his grammar

🐾
🐾

Dont worry about that Atomic, we're all here to learn my friend

[TerryCochranesSocks]

Mr Socks, I noticed that too Sir. But as Mr Erimus is a thoroughly decent chap, felt I needed to hold back on belittling his grammar

🐾
🐾

It wasn't grammar as such, just an oft used, and totally understandable, error.
I wasn't trying to be a smart arse, I hold Mr Erimus in the highest possible regard.

[AtomicDog]

Me and Dave were down the pig alley's earlier today and got chatting to Shep the border collie . . .

I said
'Shep what's your favourite sexual position then'?

"I like a few of them, doggy style, reverse cowgirl, spooning , it's all good" He said
 
Then Dave said

'Fair play to you Lad . . . Your Mrs was never much of a looker anyway'

Sam & Dave
Bruce avenue
Whinney Banks
TS5 4HH

[AtomicDog]

Mr Socks, I noticed that too Sir. But as Mr Erimus is a thoroughly decent chap, felt I needed to hold back on belittling his grammar

🐾
🐾

It wasn't grammar as such, just an oft used, and totally understandable, error.
I wasn't trying to be a smart arse, I hold Mr Erimus in the highest possible regard.

I was being facetious Lad
🐾
🐾

[TerryCochranesSocks]

"Lad"  That's made my day.
 

[AtomicDog]

When I was watching antiques roadshow about a month ago. Fiona Bruce announced at the end . . .
'Next week we shall be at Finchley Lido, come and say hello'

As it's quite local I thought
I wonder how much that big metal box in the loft is worth?

So I dragged it down there, took Me ages I was knackered by the time I arrived at the Lido.

When it was My turn to see Arthur Negus

He asked
"Where did you get this from"?

'It's been in my loft for over 40 years Arthur, I think it's a heirloom' I said.

"Do you have insurance"? he asked

'Er, no Arthur should I'?

"yes" He said

"It's your water tank"

I felt such a fool, all the audience laughed . . .  It was on national telly too

R Sen Venga
North Finchley
Borough of Barnet
Greater London
N12

[Nekder (Kenny)]

R SUN VENGA!!


  

[AtomicDog]

I notice New Division is becoming a prominent poster on this site.

I've always had 'True Faith' in Him.

At last!
A 'New dawn fades' . . .

[Ural Quntz (Moderator)]

When I was watching antiques roadshow about a month ago. Fiona Bruce announced at the end . . .
'Next week we shall be at Finchley Lido, come and say hello'

As it's quite local I thought
I wonder how much that big metal box in the loft is worth?

So I dragged it down there, took Me ages I was knackered by the time I arrived at the Lido.

When it was My turn to see Arthur Negus

He asked
"Where did you get this from"?

'It's been in my loft for over 40 years Arthur, I think it's a heirloom' I said.

"Do you have insurance"? he asked

'Er, no Arthur should I'?

"yes" He said

"It's your water tank"

I felt such a fool, all the audience laughed . . .  It was on national telly too

R Sen Venga
North Finchley
Borough of Barnet
Greater London
N12

 

[AtomicDog]

Morning Lad's,

You won't believe what an eventful last few weeks we've had I tell thee . . .
We only got our car back from Bill Boyd's body shop yesterday.

Anyhow, we were driving down the seven sisters rd having just been to our local home bargains (The sell the best squeaky ball's in there) while we were listening to Ken Bruce's pop master, during 3 in ten we had our normal disagreement, Chas just can't take it when I beat him.
Today it was La Môme Piaf
(The Little Sparrow) Édith Piaf, which of course, I got all three

While we were in mid squabble Chas hadn't noticed that a chap of east European descendant looking had walk straight out onto the the road, causing the driver of the mini metro in front to brake harshly.

'Chas look out'! I cried . . .

BANG

only rear ended the car in front. . .


When the driver got out I noticed that he was a dwarf.

He was furious and came steaming up to the car.

Chas jumped out to confront the little fella  . . .

"I'm not happy"!!  said the dwarf.

'Oh yeah, well which f***ing one are you then dafcun'?, stuck the nut on him, knocking him sparko . . .

Fast forward to today we're just on our way to the local park where Chas is due to start his 69 hours of unpaid work litter picking.
Having received a £300 fine, community service, anger management therapy and a £609 body shop repair bill!

And to cap it off our 'incident' was all documented in the Beano.


As you can well imagine Chas is livid, I daren't put pop master on today . . . Think I'll listen to TFM instead.

 To put the tin hat on it, he's going to miss today's episode of LK Today . . . I won't though, I think Tim Peake's on today you know that fella, that went to the moon? . . . so I'm quite looking forward to it.

Chas & Dave
Tottingham
 London Borough of Haringey
North London
N15

[Johnny Thunder]

Fuckin crackers.